Grandpa's Life Adventures and Polemic.    by Ludwig Steiner

Grandpa works for his Uncle, but lives with his Aunt Kunigunde

      On Monday Mother and I visited Uncles factory, which was to be my home for 5 years. My cousins were Otto about six years younger than I and Marie and Bertha. My Aunts parents were Christoph and Kunigunde W. who were to be my foster parents.

      Christoph an easy going old gent and ardent Catholic, who spent much time at prayer and less at thinking. He would not miss his Sunday church come hell or high water. Kunigunde said that she was a Protestant but never went to church, had a terrible temper and feared neither God nor Devil.

      Before I left my parental abode, I was told to be honest, willing, obedient and loyal, and if there were any complaints about my behavior I could not come back home.

      Kunigunde being forgetful and suspicious had a habit of hiding things and then forgetting where she had put them. If she could not find what she had concealed then I was the one responsible, I was the thief, and she would not tolerate a thief in her house. She made it clear that I would have to go back home. When she had her tantrums, Christoph and I would begin to retreat from flying objects such as a rolling pin, frying pan or anything that was near at hand. When I saw things flying I ducked quickly, and poor Christoph sometimes got something intended for me.

      On Sundays Christoph and I went to the St. Elizabeth church on the Ludwigs Strasse. Often Christoph took a nap during sermon, and when we got home I had to tell him what the sermon was about. His purpose was to check if I had been in church too. After the sermon I went across the street to the Protestant Jacobs church, because it was heated in Winter, and I liked the congregational singing. Our Sunday dinner we had at Uncles house. Sunday afternoon I spent with my cousins, while Christoph went with the Ludwigs train to the factory to feed the geese and chickens.

      As most of Uncle's workers never had enough money to last them from one workweek to another they asked for advance money which Uncle gave each week to Christoph. One Sunday Uncle gave Christoph 200 Mark, a hundred Mark bill and a hundred Mark in Silver, I remember this episode as if it happened yesterday. While I was still at Uncles house, the telephone rang, Christoph was calling Uncle to ask him how much money he had given him. Uncle told him and asked the reason for the call. Well Christoph could find only one hundred Mark. Kunigunde learning about the loss of money ordered Christoph to come back at once. He came with the next train and told how he walked along the track as a short cut to the Station.

      In the yard of the Station were 6 latrines under one roof. Two of them were marked Fur Frauen (For Ladies). When Kunigunde learned that Christoph used of of those latrines, Kunigunde screamed "Almighty God that fool used that hundred Mark bill for toilet paper."

      She ordered Christoph back to the latrines to search for the lost bill and I had to go with him.

      It was no easy task, there were so many pieces of paper among the excrement, and while Christoph had his cane, I could only look, however we both failed to recover the lost 100 Mark bill.

      It was my regular job each Monday morning to brush and clean both Christoph's and his son Peters Sunday clothing, with strict orders to remove articles from the pockets, reaching in the inside coat pocket I touched a piece of paper and EUREKA it was the 100 Mark bill. Overjoyed I ran back to the factory and told Christoph to come with me that I had something important to show him. He was angry for my calling him, and when I insisted he reached in the pocket with his clumsy hands and withdrew them empty. I was just able to avoid his attempt to slap my face, I then reached into the pocket and handed him the hundred Mark bill.

      Evenings I had to get two bottles of beer from a nearby tavern, for which I received a small glass of beer too. As a reward for my finding the money, I was given a second glass of beer.

      A part of my Uncles land was rented by a wealthy bachelor for a dog kennel, a breed known as Deutsche Doggen. They were fed with Spratt's Patent Dog biscuits and bread. There were two military Regiments in Nurnberg. The Infantry in the Further Strasse, and the Cavalry in the Barenschanz Strasse. Bread was given to soldiers every four days. Some of the soldiers that had money did not eat the military bread and sold it. Kunigunde and I with a bag went to the Barenschanz Strasse to buy the bread and she sold it to the kennel. The average price for a loaf of bread was 30 Pfennig. I had to carry same to Uncle's house and then again to the Horse cars. (No trolly cars in those days) As I was quite small for my age, the boys on the street used to call after me, "Hey bag, where are you going with that boy".

      When Kunigunde decided to go home, I had to carry the bag to the horse car, put same on the rear platform, she paid 10 Pfenig for her ride and I had to follow on foot to be on hand when she got off again to carry the bag into the factory. The ride was about 3 Kilometers. The stops to pick up and discharge passengers helped me to catch up to the car, often I hung on the rear platform when the conductor was collecting fares. It sometimes happened that the conductor called my presence to the attention of a passenger who would be kind and pay my fare. When this happened Kunigunde would smile from ear to ear and say, "Da has Du mal wieder Gluck gehabt." (You were lucky again).

      Although my Uncle paid for my board, I was often hungry, and the military bread was a god send, at times when there was no bread, I ate dog biscuits.

      I don't ever remember Christoph going to a show, but Kunigunde went quite often. The stadt theater was in the Lorenzer Strasse; the seats were reserved with the exception of the Balcony. The admission to the balcony was 30 Pfenig, on special occasions 40 Pfenig. When Kunigunde decided to see a show, I had to go to the Theatre, buy a ticked for the balcony, and wait in front of the balcony door until it opened. I was told to get a seat in the first row, but never less than second row.

      The order was that when she called my name, not to raise from my seat, but raise my arm with hat or cap, when Kunigunde arrived without a ticket, she would tell the attendant that a boy is holding her seat in the balcony. When she did get to the balcony she would call my name Ludwig and I would raise my arm with my hat. If I got up there would be no seat for Kunigunde. When the attendant was not looking, I quickly disappeared among those standing. By standing on tiptoes and looking over the shoulders of others I enjoyed the show free of charge, some of which were the fliegende Hollander, Der Frei Schutz, Die Meistersinger, Mignon and many others. My toes and neck were numb the next morning from overstrain.

      My daily routine was housework, before Uncle came to the factory. One bitter cold winter day, I think the year was 1890, I had to wash the storm sash at the pump in front of the house, Kunigunde hit me for some reason. Across the narrow street were a few workingmens houses. Some women who had seen me being punished shouted "Bub schlag sie tot, du wirst nicht bestraft, du wirst noch belohnt" (Boy knock her dead, you will not be punished, you will be rewarded). Kunigunde shook her fist at them and called them Lumpenpack and Zigeuner Bande. And I froze my hands feet and and ears. Kunigunde boiled oak leaves, and I had to bath my hands and feet in that water. For years afterward I was troubled with that malady.

      Peter, Uncle's brother-in-law had four abscesses of the bone on his arms and legs. Those bandages were saturated with puss and soaked in a pail and left for days before I was ordered to wash them, and the foul odor was nauseating.

      One day Kunigunde having her tantrum again, hit me on top of my head with a hand broom. Pretending that I was unconscious I fell on the floor in the hope of frightening her from further punishment. She ran to the factory to get Christoph and both put me on the sofa and put water on my head. After that they decided to give me wine, but I kept my mouth shut, so Kunigunde told Christoph to force my teeth apart with a key while she poured wine into my mouth. With my mouth full of wine I had to regain my senses. Afterwards they put me to bed for the rest of the day. They never learned that I was faking, neither did Kunigunde reform.

      Although I was supposed to be on the payroll, I had never seen any pay except the 50 Pfenig a week for spending money. One day I did muster enough courage to ask Uncle for a raise, he tried to prove to me that I did not need a raise by saying that if I drank a half liter of beer it would cost me 12 Pfenig, two would cost 24 Pfenig and 3 would cost 36, and if I drank 4 I would be drunk, which would be a disgrace, and I still would have two pfenig left. My application was refused.

      I was now in my seventeenth year and some of my chums sported watches which was also my secret wish, and I knew just such a watch.

      One of my Uncle's workers had a watch that was the prettiest I had ever seen. The dial was decorated with flowers, the chain and pendant had colored glass, and again and again I asked the owner Mr. Kleinschrot to show it to me. One day he offered to sell me the watch and chain for 5 Mark. I asked if he would sell me the watch on time payment, he said he would and so a deal was made, I was to pay 50 Pfenig a week for 10 weeks and the watch would be mine. At last at long last the day had come and the happiest in my life. That Sunday I thought that church would never end, and nobody seemed to notice my proud possession. Finally my Uncle did notice the chain on my vest and asked in a jocular way "What time is it on your potato?". The great moment had come at last when I pulled MY watch to tell the time. His first question was "is this your watch?", the answer was yes, "did you pay for it?", again yes. "Who sold it to you?", I said Kleinschrot. On Monday Kleinschrot was asked if I bought the watch, and how I had paid for it. He said that I had paid him 50 Pfenig a week for 10 weeks, and that also explained the cost of the watch.

      One day while rummaging in the bureau drawer Kunigunde missed Christoph's ring. It had a black stone with a "W" inscribed. When he was asked where his ring was he replied "where it always is in the drawer". Well it was not in the drawer and could not be found. There were only 3 people in the house, and one of them was a thief, and I was the thief. Accused a hundred times but never convicted, the ring was missing and I was guilty. My parents were to be told of my dishonesty and I would have to leave, but my parents had told me often that I could not come home if I had been dishonest. So here I was not guilty, but no place to go.

      There was one person I hoped would be impartial, Aunt Barbara. She had heard so often about my dishonesty only to learn later that things were not stolen, only mislaid.

      I doubt if Uncle George ever learned about my bad traits. Months passed the ring was not found and the thief was not sent home.

      It is now April 1892 and Kunigunde decided to start house cleaning. In spring cleaning everything had to be moved but the walls and I was the broom, the mop, and the duster. In order to clean the base-board a heavy bureau had to be moved from the wall and lo and behold there between the base-board and the rear leg of the bureau, imbedded in dust, was Christoph's ring.

      My bitterness was unbounded. I decided not to stay any longer, come what may. First I had to deal with Kunigunde, so I called her and told her that I had something to show her. When she did look I took her head into my hands and banged it against the wall, repeating that I was a thief and would be sent home in disgrace. After she regained her breath, she went to the telephone and told Aunt Barbara that I almost killed her, but when Aunt Barbara asked the reason, Kunigunde had to tell her that Christoph's ring had been found. Judging by the way she slammed the receiver on the hook, she did not get much sympathy from her Daughter, but there was still Uncle George to deal with and I was afraid of him.

      I was told that Uncle wanted to see me in the garden. He said "I hear that you had a fight with my mother-in-law, what was the reason?" I opened my mouth to speak, but could not. When I finally was able I told him of the mental and bodily torture I had to endure, and that I was not to remain any longer. He said "Lausbub" (rascal, worthless fellow) you are not able to earn your living, and where would you go if you did leave?

      I told him that there was a factory in Schwaback that manufactured the same product as his, and I would ask for employment there. I then asked the book-keeper for my pay, but was referred to my Uncle, and Uncle being sick, I had to go to his house to ask for the pay he had saved for me, but he called me a "Lausbub" and said that I still owe him something.

      Now I was not only out of work, but also pennyless. They no doubt thought that if they stop my pay, I would have to remain, but I would have preferred jail to that.

continue reading: Grandpa in Hamburg, Germany.

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